A brief interview with myself

Q: What’s hard for you?

A. Math is hard. Reading a map. Following orders. Carpentry. Electronics. Plumbing. Remembering things correctly. Straight lines. Sheet rock. Finding a safety pin. Patience with others. Ordering in Chinese. Instructions from Ikea.

Q: What do you want on your gravestone?

A: “Pardon me for not getting up.”

Q: What do you wonder about?

1. Is there a plug in the bottom of the ocean?
2. How does it feel to be a tree by a freeway?
3. Sometimes a violin sounds like a Siamese cat; the first violin strings were made from cat gut- any connection?
4. When is the world going to rear up and scrape us off its back?
5. Is a diamond just a piece of coal with patience?
16. Did Ella Fitzgerald really break that wine glass with her voice?

Q: What are some sounds you like?

1. Steady rain
2. Children when school’s out
3. Hungry crows
4. Orchestra tuning up
5. Ice melting
6. Piano lessons coming from an open window
7. Old cash registers/Ca Ching
8. Tap dancers
9. Fog horns
10. A busy restaurant kitchen
24. Elephants stampeding
25. Bacon frying
26. Marching bands
27. Clarinet lessons
28. Chinese arguments
31. Pinball machines
32. Tubas
33. Musical Saw
34. Pigeons
35. Seagulls
36. Owls
37. Mockingbirds
38. Doves
The world’s making music all the time.

Q: What’s scary to you?

1. A dead man in the backseat of my car with a fly crawling on his eyeball.
2. Turbulence on any airline.
3. Sirens and search lights combined.
4. Gunfire at night in bad neighborhoods.
5. Leftover fish from the night before.